Who is she?

In a different life, a professional athlete. In this one, a writer. Fueled by a passion for sports, Stella Artois, boneless wings and the California sunshine, each day hopefully finds me observing, talking, laughing, searching and learning. Wouldn't want it any other way.

Another Tit-Bit...

One thing I love about sports is the heated debate and gross lengths fans will go to argue a point. And while statistics are the gospel for many, for me, it's like watching paint dry. A warning -- if you're in my life, you're fair game. This blog is full of opinion, useless banter, and witty rhetoric. So, whether it be praise or a thrashing, I welcome any and all commentary -- Give it to me!!

Peyton Sweepstakes & The MADNESS!

This just looks so strange to me… but I’ll take it!

It’s hard to erase the Cinderella story that was TEBOW… but when a player of this caliber hits the open market, you SIGN HIM.  Come hell or high water.  You sell your first born child, give him his own steakhouse in Denver, erect a Peyton statue above the horse…. whatever it takes.  As my friends will attest, I knew Manning was done as a Colt, but adding Denver to the equation is just icing on the cake.  A big cake.  My cake.  And I’m gonna eat it like a fat kid.

So, either he will be leading the Broncos back to the promise land, or throwing deep balls to Larry Fitzgerald in the desert — either way, we’ll know very soon.  This Orange Crush fan has her fingers crossed.

It’s that time again — time to call in sick to work, pony up some dough and spend all night filling out brackets.  MADNESS is what I speak of.  Personally, I showed up late to this party.  That wasn’t Shaka-Smart.

The Tournament is crazy fun.  I only have two years bracket experience under my belt, but I’m getting better at it.  This year I’m going for broke, but that’s what makes it fun.  My final four are: VCU, Michigan St, Gonzaga and N. Carolina.  A little bold I know, but last year I got Shaka-Smarted, so I’m backing up my boy this time out.  Plus, I think think Duke and Ohio St are prime for upsets.  So without further adieu, let the beer flow!  Madness!!

It PUTS THE LOTION IN THE BASKET!!!

Any chance I have to reference Silence Of The Lambs is fine by me.  And given his numbers with the mask, it’s also fine by me if he wants to have a broken beak for the remainder of the season.

Super Bowl Post-Mortem… and V-Day Blues

I hate this time of year.  No more football and V-Day looming.  There, I said it.  I know the romance is alive and thriving for many, but when this holiday comes around, I usually just want blow it away with a Gatling gun…. or hide under my duvet until it passes.  Maybe one of my loyal readers will make me rethink the whole thing… with a chocolate panda or something.

I also hate bidding the NFL adieu.  It means I have to find something constructive to do on Sundays.  However, in the plus column, it means the NBA season is in full swing and moments like this can be fully appreciated.

How can you not like Blake Griffin?  Forget his human highlight reel ability, his T-Bone sized calf muscles, or his willingness to mock himself in KIA commercials.   The guy can ball like no other.  Blake Griffin, his gingerness and all — is the greatest show on earth.

On a newly revived Clippers team, he’s averaging 21 pts and 11 rebounds a game –  coupled with inspired outside shooting from Mo Williams and CP3 running point — no wonder the Clips are sitting comfortably atop the best teams in the West.  They are young, exciting, athletic and confident.  Donald Sterling finally got something right.  (And swiping CP3 from the Lakers didn’t hurt either.)

Bitter, party of one!

I digressThis year’s Super Bowl was packed with everything we could’ve asked for: A competitive game down to the last second, a legacy on the line, the anti-hero, the fall from grace, one salsa dance, one unusual drop, a comment heard round the world (ahem, Gisele), one halftime show blunder…. and of course the biggest musical star of our time (and her muscles) attracting 114 million viewers — 3 million more than actually watched the game.  I guess Madge still has it.

The stage was insane… but I question the pom-poms.

Congratulations G-MEN!  It was a season to remember and a fitting rematch to a Super Bowl catch no one will ever forget.

While Brady and the Pats came up short once again, I’m willing to bet #12 makes another Super Bowl run.  Sports analysts are already claiming it’s over for him.  Big mistake.  Brady will roll up to his new 30,000 sq ft mansion, get some lovin’ from the missus and learn from this loss.  True champions always do.  This one stung and I’m surprised to hear so many say he’ll never get there again… and even more shocked to see so many question his legacy.  Most NFL players would give their left nut for 3 rings.  Ask them.  Brady haters know this best: He’s far from done.

So, as the long off season begins, how could I not rehash my favorite storyline from the season… which will shock absolutely no one.  What has two thumbs and will remember this moment forever?  THIS GUY.  One more time for the cheap seats!!

Thank you 2011/12 NFL season for all the surprising performances, epic finishes, Tebow overload, fantasy drama and most of all — the 20 memorable Sundays, Monday nights (and sometimes Thursdays) spent with friends, family and various drunken bar mates.

WE LOVE YOU.

 

It’s BRONCO Time!!

Guess what, they did it again…. and again and again.  Team of destiny? Jesus at Quarterback? Moses calling plays from the sideline?? Who knows….all I know is this team is playing inspired football…. and I LIKE IT A LOTTTTTT

Maybe it’s luck, maybe angels are flying off shoulder pads to make insane tackles, or causing fumbles, or maybe Mother Theresa herself placed holy water in Matt Prater’s Gatorade bottle.  You are free subscribe to any theory you like, but it all starts somewhere.  Any TRUE sports fan can attest, something special is going on here.  What will this team do next???  In the words of Bart Scott….  CAN’T WAIT! 

The United States Of TEBOW

When you think of the Golden Gate Bridge, Empire State Building and Panama Canal, what comes next?  TIMOTHY RICHARD TEBOW.  Yes folks, I can’t quite figure out how to classify him yet — The Chosen One?  Messiah?  Jesus Christ Superstar? Hercules! Hercules!  In light of that, he just may just be the 8th wonder of the world.  After all, Tebow was born in Makati City, Philippines.  I don’t think he was birthed at all… merely found floating downstream in a wicker basket by Willow and Kaya.

Now, before everyone gets all bunged up and tells me I’m only saying this because I’m a Bronco fan, allow me to do my best Pass Interference motion and tell you to slow your roll.  Anyone who knows me, knows I bleed orange.  This is true.  I mean, this resides in my living room.  Need I say more?

But anyone who knows me ALSO knows how much I love the game of football.  Bolstered by a refreshed defense that is finally capable of a pass rush (Von!) like it or not, this dude is winning football games.  You might’ve heard about his winning drives against Miami, KC, the infamous 95-yard drive to beat the heavily favored NY Jets and yesterday’s overtime victory against SD.  Yes, the media may have brought it to your attention once or twice.

His game is not always pretty — in fact, from a pure passing perspective, it’s downright ugly.  So, why all the hub-bub about this kid?   Perhaps this says it all:

The last five games have completely convinced me the more you tell Tebow he CAN’T do something, the more he is going to make you eat your words.  Just ask NFL analysts all over the country, who one by one, are now abandoning their staunch opinions on the guy.  Sorry Merril Hodge, it’s getting mighty lonely in your corner.  This team of underdogs is winning because they are being led by a force of competitive nature.  Hands down.

Truth is, it’s hard to hate this guy.  He builds orphanages.  He gives away time and money.  He won in college and he wins in the NFL.  Can JeMarcus Russell say the same?  How about Matt Leinart or Vince Young?  In my book, anyone who lets his teammates cut his hair like this deserves a modicum of credit.

You can mock his religion, you can make fun of his “praise the Lord” post TD-celebration, you can call him “Virgin Air” and a slew of other Godly nicknames, you can take a knee, point to the sky and post it all over the Internet…. but the one thing you can’t do is irritate him.  Nothing ever bothers this kid!!  It only fuels him more.  And competitive fire is hard to put out.

In addition to some fabulous guns (seriously, how much can he bench? 4 plates? His O-line? A small car?) Tebow has some serious thick skin.  None of the criticism, “Tebowing” or constant questioning of his skills has phased him in the slightest.  Sure, his passer rating is the lowest in the NFL.  His completion numbers are absolute manure.  But, ponder on this: In just 9 games this season, Tebow has 11 TDs.  8 passing/3 rushing and only 1 INT.  In fact, Tebow has only turned the ball over twice and there is only one other person above him in that stat line.  His name is Aaron Rodgers and for those not paying attention, the Packers are 11-0.  “Virgin Air” also has the most number of rushing 1st downs since 1991 (a record held by John Elway.)

The point is: A touchdown is a touchdown.  And the more ways you can score them, the better off you are.  That’s where Tebow might have the last laugh.  His legs and sheer will to win make up for what his arm lacks.  And his arm can always improve, which we are starting to see.  In fact, Tebow haters worst nightmare is knowing he only has the time and the drive to get better.  I’m the first one to admit I had my doubts (He would be one of the best Tight Ends in the game) but if Tebow wants to be a QB, Tebow is going to be a QB.  And in watching these victories, not only has he made me lose my voice twice — I’ve motioned the “gator mouth” in a crowded bar.  I’m not proud of it.

However, I have not yet photographed myself “Tebowing” a la Dwight Howard.

But I will say this:  As long as this cat is on the field, I will never consider the game over.

And a brief note to Mr. Elway — this kid is winning game after game for your franchise, so you might want to get behind him.  Mild clapping and mediocre responses to the media are not cutting it anymore.

We all know you’re not fully on board yet, but maybe you should be.  You own the city of Denver and believe me, your legacy will be forever untouched – but a small reminder from the loyal fans:  We’ve been waiting a long time for the second coming of you, only to be met with disappointment after disappointment.  So, while Tebow may not possess your natural ability, he’s given a heartbeat to a team on life support.  He has the entire nation watching the Broncos.  And guess what, he gets that stadium rocking…. in ways only YOU could.

So, do us this favor — stand behind this kid and give him the support he needs to get better….

Or cut him and move on.

 

One more thing before I go… and because I simply can’t resist… I’d like to write an open letter to West Virgina head coach Dana Holgorsen.    Dear Dana, I know your hair is your thing, but it might be time for a cut.  There’s just too much resemblance.

It places the lotion in the basket or else it gets the hose again.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS, everyone!!

Bring On October!

Today felt like the first “official” day of Fall in LA, so what better way to bring in a new season than with a new post.  Oh, and there are some sports happenings as well.  Football is in full swing and already, it’s been a crazy injury-laced season.  Fantasy pundits are up in arms, chairs have been thrown and betting at this point is a total crap shoot.  The loss of Peyton Manning & Jamal Charles has proved to be kryptonite to both of their respective teams, while other nagging injuries and scary moments with Arian Foster, Jermichel Finley, Kenny Britt, Tony Romo, Dez Bryant and several G-Men have fans and fantasy owners holding their breath.  And it’s only week 2.

Among the many amazing plays, end-zone celebrations and Tom Brady magnificence, I’d like to highlight a moment that could only come from the Meadowlands:

As my friend Steve so eloquently stated: If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.  My response: Yes, but maybe not when you’re standing there doing your job not expecting a 250lb Defensive Tackle to rifle it at your head.  Stay classy NY.

And what would October be without Mr. November?  The Yankees look prime-time as ever, but Philly, Texas and Detroit are dialed-in for spectacular post seasons of their own.  And don’t count Beantown out…. at least not yet.  The race is on.

And perhaps my very favorite part of October… blowing up pumpkins?  Close, but no.  The NFL honoring Breast Cancer Awareness.

Now, I know this topic tends to irritate most fans, both casual and die hard… and yes, you tend to be of the male persuasion.  But let me just say this… fellas, you’re going about this all wrong.  Not only is it a tremendous platform for a tremendous cause… the ladies dig it.  I can’t tell you how many female fans I hear applauding this.  REAL MEN WEAR PINK.  So, if you want to complain about having to see hot pink on your TV for a couple weeks, go ahead, but I can guarantee you will be leaving the sports bar with your buddy, or yourSELF.  So, why not try this: On Sunday, buy that girl a beer.  After all fellas, we got the tata’s… and we want to have them for a long time.

World Cup Post Mortem

Happy Summer everyone! Now that the Lockout is coming to an end, we can go back to obsessing about FOOTBALL.  But first, I feel the need to comment on a little FUTBOL.

Did that Women’s World Cup actually happen??  I mean, that was soccer, right?  Because as I recall, there were several moments in which I vaulted off the couch in pure jubilation.  And judging by the numbers, I wasn’t alone.  ESPN reported a viewing audience of 13.5 million, the highest rating EVER for a soccer match, men or women.  Not too shabby, ladies.  And Twitter got in on the action as well.  More people tweeted during the Final (7,196 tweets per second) eclipsing other events such as The Royal Wedding and Osama Bin Laden’s death.  Soccer.  Yes, soccer. 

I won’t attempt to make any bold statements as to whether or not this will change the way America feels about soccer, because everyone knows the NFL is king in this country.  But, I can say this: Many of these games had every element of drama, heartbreak, skill, determination and tension sports beg for.  Are you paying attention LeBron?? You should be.  Because maybe you should take a note or two from these women on how to FINISH. 

It will be aother 4 years until we are this enraptured again, but for one brief period of time, it was nice to be entertained by the pure heart and determination showcased by a classy group of talented athletes.  There were no attorneys, no players unions, no grappling over millions — just grit, guile and goals.  Lots of goals… not accounting for the ones that almost went in.

The US women may have come up short, but Japan had the weight of a country on their shoulders.  Lead by their immensely talented superstar Homare Sawa, they simply never folded, rose to the challenge and found a way to win.  Fear not Team USA, you played your hearts out and you got our attention.  And judging by the number of marriage proposals, Playboy offers, etc. you got men to watch women’s soccer.  Bravo, ladies.

With the NFL Lockout “alledgedly” coming to end this week and with an NBA Lockout already looking ten times worse… football will be welcomed back with arms wide open.  Training camps are opening a bit late, but here’s hoping there will only be a few kinks to work out.  All together now…. HERE’S TO FOOTBALL!!!!!

Lakers Post Mortem…

While I try to remain unbiased on this blog, it’s no secret I’m a huge Lakers fan. But even for me, watching a team I have grown to love, completely implode against the Dallas Mavericks (a team I made fun of 2 posts ago) was a hard pill to swallow.
Everyone saw the games, so I will not bore you with a recap of their COLOSSAL failure to do anything defensively against Dirk Nowitzki, 5’9 guard JJ Barea and the outside shooting of Jason Terry. It was like watching a team that had never played together, let alone won 2 back-to-back championships. And the frustration fouls committed by Odom and Bynum in Game 4 were inexcusable and embarassing. I personally hope Bynum has his bags packed and that the Buss family rips off a check to Dwight Howard…a guy who at least when he throws a dirty elbow, is trying to make a play on the ball. Wouldn’t this guy look great in the purple & gold?? Bring it, Superman!
Now, let’s move onto to more positive subjects and namely a team that has completely won me over: The GRIZZ
I watch a lot of sports and I can’t even remember watching a team transform itself the way this team has.
They are fiery, fast, amazing shooters and above all else, HUNGRY. I don’t know how many games I’ve watched where they were completely out of it and somehow will themselves back into the lead. This team is truly a joy to watch.
I personally think it has something to do with that arena. Other NBA teams please take note (especially LA), the Grizz and their ownership are doing it right. There’s a reason why it’s hard to win in Memphis and it’s not just because of Randolph, Gasol and Mayo. I think it has something to do with the Grizz bear:
This is a TRUE mascot. This dude revs the crowd up like I’ve never seen. And their announcer is pure entertainment. Seriously, listen to him next time they’re on TV. If I were in that crowd, I’d be going banannas. They play everything from 80s hair bands, to theme from Kill Bill, to “I dropped the bomb on you” whenever one of their players has the hot hand. It’s classic, original and beats the hell out of the “Six Flags techno song” they play at Staples every 5 minutes. This team, their fans and their dedication to the sports experience is pure enjoyment right now and I hope they can take Game 7 from OKC just so I can watch them more.
The Playoffs continue with Bulls vs Heat, a match up I’m really looking forward to. It will be interesting to see Rose against the Big 3… ahem 2, sometimes 3 when Bosch decides to play. With help from Deng and Boozer and if Korver can stay hot… Chicago has a real chance to take the East. Playoffs Baby. Playoffs.

Hey Bennie!!


So, let me preface this by saying I am in no way defending Kobe Bryant, but can everyone please just CALM DOWN. I mean, really?? He called the dude a fag…. for those of us who watch sports on a regular basis, this is nothing shocking. How many football players have been “miked up” during a game, only to be edited later? How many times can you read a coach’s mouth during an intense moment? $100k?? Really, David Stern? Honestly, how many of us can say we’ve NEVER used the word in question? Whether it be after a few beers joking around with friends, during sports, or when someone cuts us off on the road. I’ll be the first to admit, I’ve said it and never to insult someone, merely because it rolls off the tongue easily… Kind of like douche. Now, do I actually think the person I’m saying that to is a feminine hygiene product? Probably not. And I have gay friends, both men and women, so call me crazy, but isn’t it only insulting if you’re saying it to someone who is IN FACT gay? I’ve been called a queen before. Was it because I was totally acting like a snoot, or because someone was trying to insinuate that I’m a drag queen?? I’m gonna go with the first (it happens from time to time).

And here’s a question, would anyone even care if cameras didn’t catch it? And for that, I fault the Black Mamba (that’s a snake by the way, not a nickname for genitalia.) Kobe is a seasoned, professional athlete and should know that during a game, no matter what, there are always cameras on him. Frustrated or not, it was a bad move and he completely owned it. A lot of athletes wouldn’t have addressed again and he made a statement immediatley and spoke about it in the media. He didn’t run away, a la Man Ram. So, while he will continue to take heat for his comments, I still think he is handling it correctly. And hey, at least he called the guy by his name before he insulted him… “Hey, Bennie!!”
And just to drive my point home. Why is no one talking about LeBron’s mother, who was arrested last week for physically assaulting a hotel valet and making this statement….”Don’t you know who I am, you F***** Nigg***!!”
I guess Gloria James wasn’t caught on TNT’s cameras, so she gets a pass. Isn’t it bad enough that she had an affair with one of LeBron’s Cleveland teammates and that’s part of the reason LeBron wanted out of town. Seriously, someone get a leash on this woman! And why is no one talking about this?? Why isn’t it on the ticker?? Or being Tweeted 1000x a day? Even the attack on SF Giants fan Bryan Stow at Dodger Stadium didn’t get as much press as Kobe calling a ref a fag. What sense does that make???

Bottom line, a lot happens in sports. Sometimes there are amazing moments. Sometimes there are ugly ones. It’s all part of the atmosphere and the nature of what keeps us watching. But we at least need to stay consistent with what we deem as a “despicable” act. Because if we don’t, well, that’s just gay.

40/40 And a note on the Madness…

Those who know me know I’m not a huge fan of college basketball. Those who don’t know me… I’m not a huge fan of college basketball.
However, the last couple years I’ve actually become quite fascinated by March Madness. Interesting timing because after watching one of the worst Championship games in the history of sports, I’m ready to put it on the shelf again.
As usual, there were some good stories and big upsets (Ahem Duke!) but certain personalities stood out to me. Personalities like Jimmer Fredette. That mini Tim Tebow sure can play basketball. And Butler had another great year, but I was more excited to see Blue, the Butler Bulldog. Any dog that has their own entourage and Twitter page is worth mentioning.

But my favorite personality of the tournament by far, has to be Shaka Smart.
Not only for his sneaky good looks and excellent coaching style (VCU just locked him up for 8 years) but because the guy has one of the coolest names I’ve ever heard. I like it so much I want it to use it in everyday vernacular.
“Ouch, that Shaka Smarted!”
“I would drive you home after a bottle of wine, but that’s not Shaka Smart.”
“Baby, let’s try the Shaka Smart tonight. I’m feeling bendy.”

Come on people, start the trend.

As the NBA Playoffs begin, it will mean something different to everyone, based on your location. True to form, this is usually where the Mavs bus breaks down.
But since Dallas is still in a dogfight with LA for the #2 Seed in the West, maybe Cuban will get to scream and bitch about calls for another month or so.

If you’re a fan of the Wiz, Bobcats or Raptors (yes, those teams still exist) there is virtually no change in your daily routine. However, when April hits and you reside in LA or Boston, you may as well insert a beer I.V. and pay rent at the bar. As a Laker fan, the last 3 seasons have been quite entertaining and I wouldn’t trade it for a thing, but I wonder what it means when my favorite server at the bar will probably end up being one of my bridesmaids. Seriously — by June, I’m ready to be carted out in a wheel barrel.
TNT’s brilliantly marketed 40 Games in 40 Nights is like ringing the cowbell for FAT. Instead of companies coming up with fifty types of pills to make a make a guys’ junk stay perky, they should invent a pill that tastes like beer & hot wings. Problem solved.

With two regular season games remaining, the East is shaping up to be an interesting mix of familiar faces: Boston and Club Douche (Ahem, Miami) but the biggest stunner in the East has definitely been the surprisingly strong Chicago Bulls, led by league MVP Derrick Rose. In the West, San Antonio will retain the #1 seed, while Kobe & Co. will for the first time in four seasons, go into the playoffs with the #2 Seed (or lower). Dallas, which looked to be fading yet again, has found new rhythm and Portland & Denver, two young & talented teams are looking for the upset. With the addition of Kendrick Perkins and the already explosive tandem of Kevin Durant/Russell Westbrook, OKC possesses all the makings of a team on the verge of major things… as the Lakers saw last night and in their surprisingly close 6-game series during last year’s playoffs. OKC stands to make a huge statement that they’ve arrived and while I still think they are a year away, I certainly wouldn’t want to face them in the early rounds.

So, let the endless games begin! PLAYOFFS!! You’ll find me at the salad bar…. yeah right… I’ll take a beer I.V. with a side of Shaka Smart!

What We Love About Football…

Packers vs. Steelers — two very deserving teams will face off in what’s sure to be an amazing Super Bowl XLV.
It’s no secret Steelers fans are known for their passion and loyalty… happy to have caught it on camera. I think the sound makes up for the lack of lighting ;) Happy Super Bowl everyone!

Steelers Bar from Amy Sorlie on Vimeo.